The history of the sausage roll

Now that you know what exactly the sausage roll is, i feel it is only fair you get to know it/ her/him (what gender should my sausage roll be...?lets go with her) better!

So firstly she - the sausage roll - has not always been a sausage roll... in fact i remember when it was just a mini sausage roll, like the ones you get for a picnic from Sainsburys.  She is just something i have been blessed with since birth, ok maybe not since birth, but definitely since my hips and boobs started popping out.
I blame the pill, it does warn that you "may put on weight" however it does not say " oh and by the way a sausage will attach itself to your stomach." Had it said that, i definitely would have foregone the pill for a buba and may well not be writing this blog!

Anyhoozless.... so my sausage has gradually grown and i do not blame her... Sometimes i do look down at her and say "why?..why me?" but unfortunately sausage rolls rarely respond.

So i have had to come up with my own reasons as to why she has grown, and i believe i may have myself to blame:

1) I prefer alcohol over any other liquid - alcohol has many more calories then any other liquid.

It's even got a halo round it, that's how yummy it is!

2) I will always choose a totally carb option over anything remotely leaf based, i still believe that leaves aka salad are for small animals. 

3) I don't really believe in running. I think it looks silly, it's not enjoyable,it makes you wet and therefore smell, therefore i choose to walk or crawl as exercise.

So here lie my 3 problems as to why the sausage has grown. 

I am going to tackle these 3 issues and slowly kill off the sausage! I shall keep you posted as to how i aim to slowly rid the sausage...but i know it's not going to be easy.